Mo Money, Mo Problems
Kasha Thompson @kayslay_allday
Photo: Unsplash.com Photographer: @priscilladupreez
I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T, do you know what that means? Your career is thriving and you’re out here making money moves. You’ve worked hard to achieve your goals, putting the hours in at school or staying up late at night grinding to get your business off the ground. So, what do you do when your partner isn’t clearing the same checks as you?
First, never dim your light for others that are blinded by the glare. If your partner can’t accept your success, they may be the wrong one for you. You don’t have to flaunt your earnings but you shouldn’t be forced to hide them either. Money isn’t the only thing that matters. Clearly if you are the breadwinner in the relationship, you’re not with your partner for the amount in their checking account. Does your partner step up in other areas like sharing chores, fixing that flat tire, or just giving the best hugs you’ve ever gotten? If your partner is putting in the emotional labor then you may find that the financial gap isn’t that important.
Don’t ignore your partner when it comes to financial decisions. This is especially true if you and your partner are married or cohabiting. Just because you pay most of the bills doesn’t mean you get to call all the shots. The last thing you want is for your partner to feel like they have no control within the relationship. By dismissing your partners opinions, you could breed resentment and create a greater imbalance within the relationship.
Don’t be a bully. Don’t use the fact that you make more money and bare most of the financial burden as a weapon. No one wants their meager income thrown in their face especially during an argument. Making more money doesn’t give you a pass to push aside other people's feelings. You’re in a relationship so act like it. Take a second and put yourself in your partner's shoes, how would you want to be treated if the tables were turned?
It can be difficult to balance the power dynamics when money is involved, but remember if your partner is supportive and meets your emotional needs, that is a gift no amount of money can buy.